22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat
>
>1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
>demand.
>
>2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
>create prosperity.
>
>3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are
>more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
>Chinese and North Korean communists.
>
>4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
>
>5. You have to believe that global
>temperatures are less affected by
>cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
>soccer moms driving SUV's.
>
>6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
>homosexual
>is natural.
>
>7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
>funding.
>
>8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders
>how
>to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
>
>9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but urban
>activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
>
>10. You have to believe that having
>self-esteem is more important than
>actually doing something to earn it.
>
>11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money
>to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.
>
>12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of
>the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts
>of the Constitution.
>
>13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
>
>14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
>important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee,
>and Thomas Edison.
>
>15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
>quotas and set-asides are not.
>
>16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice
>person.
>
>17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
>anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
>charge.
>
>18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but
>a liar and a sex offender belongs in the White House.
>
>19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
>transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
>manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
>
>20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese
>government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
>
>21. You have to believe that John Kerry's Purple Hearts are legitimate, and
>that a Massachusetts Senator more liberal than Teddy Kennedy can be elected
>President of the United States.
>
>22. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing
>conspiracy.